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JohnEgbert is a wizard. He is a member of the unsorted masses of Hogwarts students just off the train eagerly crowding around the Sorting Hat.

About Me
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 1st of September, is this young man's first day of school. Though it was eleven years ago he was given life, it is only today he will finally be attending school!

What will the name of this young man be?

>Enter name.

Zoosmell Pooplord.

>Try again, smartass.

John Egbert.

Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. A number of CELEBRATORY CAKES are scattered about your room.

You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MUGGLE MAGICIAN, even though you will soon be able to do REAL MAGIC. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.

What will you do?

>Go to Hogwarts and become a Hufflepuff.